Who fathered your children?

One of the most controversial couples on As the World Turns (ATWT) is Luke and Noah. Pardon as I slip in to net speak, but Oh noes! Not teh gays!

People, get over yourselves. No, really, get over yourselves. I honestly see nothing wrong with this story line. Check your calenders, it’s 2008 and this kind of thing goes on all the time. People don’t chose to be gay, because think about all the crap that gay people – men and women – go through to be who and what they are. Who would chose to go through that?

Recently, my husband and I watched a repeat of 30 Days that TiVo had recorded for us. For those not familiar with it, 30 Days is a show done by Morgan Spurlock who did the documentry Supersize Me. On the show that was recorded, a straight man from outside Detroit went out to San Francisco to be the roommate of a gay man for 30 days. Upon his arrival, he had the “typical” mindset that homosexuality is wrong, it’s a choice, blah blah blah. He remained closed minded for a long time. Then, almost suddenly, he realized that people are people, be they gay, straight, blue, purple or otherwise “normal.” This came from meeting his roommate’s family and hearing how they loved him for him. He then talked to parents in a support group who had gay children, and those parents said the same thing: their child was still the same person.

The ATWT message board is filled with downright hateful messages about how this coupling is disgusting, and how children shouldn’t be exposed to this. I don’t know about other parts of the US, but ATWT is on at 2pm where I live, and I’m pretty sure that kids are in school right about then. Anyone under 5 is either playing or napping right about then anyway, so there goes that arguement.

And for the record, yes, I think gay marriage is just fine. As I told my husband, the gay/lesbian relationships you hear about seem to be far more stable than some straight relationships and last longer. People of my generation seem to think that marriages are disposable, but even the gay/lesbian people of my generation have the stability I’m talking about. Plus, I feel that if they want to go through divorce, just like us “normal” people, let ‘em!

But, back to Luke and Noah. In previous blogs, I’ve gone on and on about how ATWT is recycling story lines, or the whole marriage thing to stay in the county, and how it pissed me off. Yet here’s a story line that’s new and fresh. It’s current, and people bitch and moan to the point where the story line may not be continued.

Honestly, I’d rather see this story line continue than the Mrs. Robinson thing they have going with Casey and Emily.

Well, I must say that As The World Turns is using one of my least favorite story lines EVER: a long lost kid. There’s a couple, who just got married? Not much else going on for them? Hey, look! He has a kid he never knew about!

How cliche. Like it’s never been done before. On ATWT. Or any other soap for that matter. I just don’t understand why there is a great need for it. Reading the message board (MB) for ATWT, it seems that people are very split on this matter: either they think the character is a breath of fresh air, or they think it’s a stupid story line. The character herself may be great, I wouldn’t know because well, I only read the updates. But, why not think of another way to introduce her? Does Brad have to have a daughter that he never knew his one night stand produced? And does said daughter really have to have a mother who really never got over Brad and their drunken one night stand? Oh, please.

Does anyone remember Holden and the fact that he turned out to be Aaron’s father?

Oh, and it seems that this story line will be used on Bold and the Beautiful as well. A mysterious stranger shows up, and is questioning Donna. Is he going to be her son, or someone elses? Oh, come on. That show has gotten so stupid anyway, with Brooke and Ridge and all their break-ups and getting back together. Either get them together, or break them up for good. But move on with “life.” And her son going for her arch-nemesis? Who just happens to be his ex-girlfriend’s MOTHER? The list of stupid for this show goes on and on.

I’m sure it’s not easy coming up with new situations day after day for people to deal with, but at the same time, why use such stupid go-to story lines? Right now with the gambling, and cosmetic contaminating, and giving away of fortunes, Young and the Restless is pretty darn rockin’. It’s nice to see that they’re not just reaching into a old bag of tricks and attempting to make the proverbial old dog do a new trick (which, btw, the Mythbusters proved you can in fact teach an old dog new tricks…perhaps the writers for ATWT and BB should watch that episode).

Tomorrow, I shall wax poetic about the Luke/Noah situation on ATWT. The whole “long lost child” thing has just been bothering me more.

Now, we women know, and have been told many times over the years, that you can’t change a man and that you shouldn’t try. Our mothers, friends, grandmothers, whoever, have all told us to just accept the man, warts and all. Past experience should have even told us this. Besides, if you really love him “just the way he is” why would you want to change him? Just forget it, people are the way they are.

So, about this list. Here it is, and I will give credit as to where I got it. I’ve also put in my little editorial comments about it as well. Disagree? That’s fine. I just happen to think this is a stupid list. I read it on MSN: Lifestyle Men. It was written by Steve Calechman, of Men’s Health. So, Steve, if you happen to read my little blog here, just know I think this list is dumb, and here’s why:

1. A black eye.  Well, I can’t argue with this one. But at the same time, it could possibly give us an excuse to take care of you.

2. A witty e-mail signature. As long as it’s your personal email, why the heck not? Like other people can’t appreciate humor?

3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her…along with breakfast in bed. Me: Right, because women the world over whip out a score card on the whole “three-course dinner” thing and/or breakfast in bed. Women are just impressed by a guy who cooks.

4. PlayStation thumb. I’ve known women with this problem.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. Again with the “why not?”

6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he’ll be. Me: *gag* I’m sorry, I have no issue with this one, unless every shirt owned is a “lucky shirt” in a ploy not to get rid of anything.

7. An unstamped passport.  Oh, sure, because *everyone* can afford to be a world traveler. My debts, let me show you them.

8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery. Me: Gee, what happened to “you can do anything you put your mind to”? Even if you don’t enter the Olympics, perhaps using that goal to get into shape can help motivate you. Let’s just dash the dreams of everyone.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic. Me: A “real man” huh? Well, I guess I’ll never be a “real man” as I never have 20 bucks in my wallet at any given moment. Oh, I’m a woman…well, still. I think this is just stupid.

10. A name for his penis. Then every woman out there should cease calling her breasts anything other than breasts. That’s right “the girls” “the twins” etc, are just right out. Oh, please. Nick name it…do whatever.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. I suppose this will put Bud out of business. Freakin’ snobs.

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Again something that should go for women as well then. I’ve known plenty of women to quote stuff.

13. A futon. Really? No, not even going to dignify this.

14. Code words for ugly women. Ditto for women, yet again. I do this. All the time.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else’s office. Me: This dude really needs to get laid.

16. A secret handshake. The writer of this list is seriously no fun.

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Again, this dude needs to get laid. Seriously.

18. A recent story with the phrase “So I said to the cop…” Well, crap…there goes my opening line at parties. Oh, again, I’m not a “real man” or a “man” at all.

During high school and college, I would watch them occasionally as well. I stuck with the ones that my grandmother watched, because those were the ones I was familiar with. I knew what was happening with all the families on the shows. It helped that my mother decided to use the VCR to record the soaps, and that I’d watch them with her at night when we got home. I never did get to the point where I scheduled classes around being able to be able to watch though, so I guess I wasn’t addicted.

Once I entered the “real world” I didn’t have a chance to watch. I also didn’t have a VCR of my own, so I didn’t record them. I did, however, discover that I could read a summary of the shows the next day. So, I was able to keep up with them, without having to commit to real time of watching them. I did try once, after having read the summaries for months, and lost all patience. I wanted to know all the action right then. I guess this is a good thing, since I know my husband would take the TiVo away if I tried to TiVo the soaps. I also hide my guilty pleasure of reading the summaries.

Well, I’ve been reading the summaries the past few days, and just shaking my head with the outrageousness of it all. I know that things move faster on the soaps, but when did everything have to enter “break-neck speed”? One of the soaps I keep up with is based in LA, and it seems as if every teenager on that show graduates from high school, and is married the very next day. What happened to college? What happened to well, anything else? I’m fairly certain that they could, in their way of aging the kids, send them off to college, and in about 6 months said kid could have their Masters.

Sure, that’s one thing that bothers me, but I got over that a long time ago. Victoria Newman on Y&R (yes, I follow the CBS soaps…get over it) left to go to private school in Switzerland when she was about 6 or 7. When she came home for summer break, she was 16. Ok, sure, I know that working with kids can probably be hard, and I also know that with these stories, it can’t be that one day for them = one day for us. Nothing would ever get accomplished. But, I’m not always totally willing to suspend my disbelief.

Without going into the whole Luke and Noah thing on ATWT, which is an entire entry unto itself, let’s just talk about the fact that Noah married someone so she could stay in the country. No, doesn’t work that way. I guess since I know the story of how much really goes into getting someone into the country, even with a real marriage, that story line just totally pissed me off. That I couldn’t totally suspend my disbelief over.

I guess my guilty pleasure is getting more guilty than pleasure lately. I guess I just liked it all more when there was wife swapping *gasp!*, back-stabbing *shock!*, and under-handed deals. I guess I’m just wondering where the soap opera went.

I even used to love celebrity gossip. Now, it’s just the same four or five celebrities, different day. I don’t care that Paris Hilton is dating Nicole Ritchie’s finance’s twin brother, and that they’re now planning a double wedding because Paris and Nicole are BFF’s! OMG! I really don’t care that Britney has stopped at Starbucks, yet again, and she’s lighting up another cig as she’s walking to her car. Or that Zsa Zsa’s husband, Prince Whatever-His-Name-Is has gone to court. Rounding out the top 5 is Linsay Lohan, who may or may not have fallen off the wagon. Oh, and the all important Brangelina Baby Bump Watch.

So what if she’s pregnant? Do we really need pictures taken every five seconds of her? OMG Ya’ll! she may have expanded a millimeter from the last step, so we need to overanalyze this picture as well! UGH!

What really started my “turn off” to celebrity gossip was all the coverage Paris Hilton got when she was taken away to jail for her DUI. Did you really need to “break in” with that? Or have the news scrolling the bottom of the screen, like it did when Brad and Jen broke up? Even if some of them don’t like to admit it, they’re the same as everyone else, and the old adage is true: they put their pants on one leg at a time.

I no longer feel the need to check on TMZ to see what happened. Or who ate where, etc…etc…etc. Who cares? Front page at CNN.com to let me know all about Paris? Pu-leaze! I go there for REAL news. I’ll go back to just reading the headlines while in line at the grocery store. And watching the new season of Dirt, whenever it comes back on. It’s much more fun.

I’ve been introduced to people before, and then had “his wife” thrown on there. In the future, I think I’d like that left off, unless it’s actually my husband introducing me. “And this is my wife, ParsnipGrrl.” I didn’t suddenly become property when we were married. Sure, I took his name, but that doesn’t mean he owns me. Or that I can now only be known as some kind of extension of him.

In this same respect, if you have a problem with my husband, take it up with him. Don’t have words with me, and then with him. I’m not his messenger service. If you have something to tell him, send him an email. Pick up the phone. Whatever it takes, but don’t tell me to “pass it along.” Honestly, the very next time someone tries that with me, I’m either going to hand over his email address, or I’m going to tell them to get in touch with them himself. I have enough going on without having to try to remember to tell him that you’re mad at him.  And remember, you’re mad at him not me, and I would appreciate it not being taken out on me. I did nothing wrong.

Just because I’m married to him I’m not an extension of him. Better half? No. Other half? No. I’m his equal. His partner. I know some people feel as if their SO “completes them” and in some ways he does that for me. Yes, we funtion as a team, but we’re also capable of functioning as individuals. The word “wife” does not soley define me. The word “mother” does not soley define me. They are things that make me who I am. Parts of me, and parts I love being, but that’s not all I am. And I’m tired of people forgetting that.

I am Parsnip. Hear me roar!

What the hell happened to the pasteries at Starbucks?

Deep, I know, but like I said, my mind is gone. Perhaps on Monday I’ll have more thoughts on stuff. I have something formulating, so perhaps it will be posted then. Until Monday, have a great weekend!

I was raised to think I needed to wait until I was married. Then when I “graduated” the 8th grade, I was informed that I was one of 4 virgins in the graduating class. That’s 4. F-O-U-R. I was 13 at that time. I’m not sure how many there were when I graduated high school, but I was still one of them. In fact, I had a friend tell me point blank that the reason I couldn’t get a date, despite being told all the time I was pretty, was that I wouldn’t put out. I didn’t wait until marriage, but you know, there was no guy at my high school that I wanted to do that with.

“But, ParsnipGrrl, Jamie Lynn is only 16.” So what? How old were your great-grandmothers when they got married? There was one girl in my graduating high school class who got married because of the baby they were expecting, and they’re still married, 17 years later. Yet it’s my generation who thinks of marriage as being disposable. 17 years. The theory was that she got pregnant on purpose because she was sick of being compared to her older sister. Sound familiar? Honestly, I think we should leave Jamie Lynn alone, because she’s not Britney, and she may be a brilliant mother.  As for teaching sex ed in schools, I’m all for teaching safe sex as opposed to abstinance, because they’re going to do it. I’d just rather they be safe about it. That’s right boys, put on your raincoats before going out.